kung pagkabasa mo ng title, sinundan mo ng "then why can't i paint you," isa lang ang ibig sabihin non. baduy ka. hehe. at kaya peborit mo ang bread. at kabisado mo ang aubrey, diary, at kung anu-ano pa. (teka lang, ba't alam ko tong mga to? heeheehee.)

hindi na ko gaanong nakakasulat dito. simula nung magsulat ako sa creative journal ko for com14, parang nawawalan na ako ng sasabihin dito. three pages ba naman everynight of fresh, undiluted and pure thoughts (top of the line! and totally mine!), pag di ka ba naman naubusan.

isa pa, at mas mabigat na dahilan, parang ayoko na yatang magsulat ng masyadong personal. marami na masyado ang nakakaalam ng blog na to. di katulad dati ako lang, si yoyo, at kuya ko ang nakakabasa. mahirap na, baka kung ano pa ang mabroadcast ko. although nandon yung excitement na wow, me nakakabasang iba, parang ang korni na. hindi naman kasi yun ang reason ko kung bakit ako nagbblog. gusto ko lang maglabas ba. gawa na lang siguro ako ng bago, yung anonymous blog para kahit ano, puede ko na ulit sabihin. o kaya, prendsh only post na lang.

ohwell. kung nakaabot ka ng pagbabasa rito, shet, bored ka nga siguro talaga dahil sa bagyo. wala na rin akong masabi, eto na lang pickies.





raxee, miss na kita. starbuck's uli tayo at pichurpichur galore!




the raft that keeps me from drowning. (oi, line yan sa merrily, hindi ko kabaduyan yan. hehe)
kung di mo makita mabuti, lumayo ka sa computer screen, mga 1 meter. magic.


gusto ko sanang magkuwento tungkol sa lecture namin sa philo kahapon kaso tinatamad na ako. bukas na lang. magaganda ang insight dun, pramis. astig talaga si ferriols. sige na nga, pati na rin si lagliva. pero pinaka-astig shempre si... ay biased. tama na.

babu.

it's such a good feeling seeing the bluerep kids sing in breakfast today. i was like a proud mother, i couldn't help but beam. i had goosebumps. bluerep always gave me that. from forum to woods to footlose and now, merrily.

all those late nights, missed gimiks, neglected schoolwork, and quality time forgone for the love of bluerep.. they were all worth it.

it's so fulfilling when you know you're part of something bigger than you. bluerep is continuously growing, threading new grounds, making risks. and i'm a part of that. now that i'm graduating, i can imagine how the bluerep alumni feel when they watch our productions. they're like parents watching their baby progress, and of course they're beaming with pride. they think to themselves, i was a part of this. i am a part of this. and all those hopes and dreams, the passion they had, have, for bluerep and theater, that helps fuel us to move forward. to change worlds, to win worlds.

feel the flow
hear what's happening:
we're what's happening.
don't you know?
we're the movers and we're the shapers
we're the names in tomorrow's papers
up to us now to show 'em..

long ago
all we had was that funny feeling
saying someday we'd send 'em reeling
now it looks like we can!
someday just began.

it sucks when you want something so bad and you can't have it. but it sucks even more when you know you can demand for it but you just wouldn't because if you did, it wouldn't mean as much.

it sucks most when you get too emotional about it when you know you shouldn't. when you know that no matter how bad you feel, you just can't tell him because it's pretty stupid, it's pretty shallow. and you know you have to be better than that.

but then there's this part of you that succumbs to your childishness, and you find yourself lingering there. so you twist and turn in your bed, you think about how you wish things weren't like that, that he isn't like that. but when he asks you, you tell him it's okay because you can't be immature. not now, not when you know he won't be coming after you if you throw tantrums.



at times like this one, i wish you were different. i wish you were more available, more flexible, i wish you would cater more to my whims. but then again i know that i'm just saying this because i didn't get my way.

i just wish this feeling would go away.

i know i said i won't post one, but because i miss you i did. to hell with mushiness. to hell with whoever will see. we're going public. hehehe.

thanks for being both my joe black and the guy from the coffee shop. i'd rather get lost with you anyday than find my way on my own.

riot talaga ang party dito kagabi. sumayaw ba naman kami (ako, nanay ko, at si jope) ng sasakyan kita, with choreo pa.. pag di pa lasheng yun ewan ko na. napakanta ba ako kasama ng banda. mirakulo talaga.

bangenge agad, bangenge talaga. lalo na ang nanay ko.
...

m: aalagaan mo yung anak ko ha, wag mong pababayaan. mahal na mahal ka non.

j: opo, shempre naman po.


ayos. kanina ko lang nalaman na tinabihan pala siya ng nanay ko at kinausap habang nagaala-sayaw kami nila bebe. nakakatawa na nakakatuwa.
...

salamat tinulungan mo akong pakawalan ang sarili ko. sa pagturo sa aking kumain ng gulay, ng ketchup, ng inihaw na pusit, at ng tofu. ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ako sumasayaw, kahit na masagwa tignan. patuloy lumalawak ang mundo ko kasama ka. at hindi tayo kayang pag-awayin ng kahit sinong intrigera, dahil alam naman natin ang totoo.

patuloy lalawak ang mundo natin, magkasama. bangenge man o hindi.