sadomasochist

things are looking up for me. one day more and boracay here i come! best of all, jope is coming with me! yay

we hit a bump days ago, but we're good as new.

ay cute, parehas kaming malaki ang gilagid. hehe.

...

i don't know about you, but it's such a riot for me to read my previous letters, blog entries, and professions of love (in whatever form) to old flames. they are too darn mushy, to the point of exaggeration. i blame the drama-queen-genes i got from my mother, and my sadomasochistic tendencies for them. oh, don't think of me too wildly, my tendencies only go so far as emotions are concerned (although i would like to try leather and whipping, one time or another).

i think that it's a general experience, people saying things that they end up just laughing at after a few years or boyfriend changes. i'm a perfect example for that. i've said that i've found the one one too many times that well, it had already lost it's meaning. but we always know the difference between the things we just say for the hell of it and the things we really mean right?

...bigla akong inatake ng lazy bug so ima keep this short na. anyhoo, what i'm really trying to say is that the most important things in this life are left unsaid. i don't have to tell you that you're the one. you'll know. i'm too lazy to go on. basta. later. zzz.

i'm blessed to have two mothers. mamsi and tita fe. super opposites sila, and sometimes they do clash. but it's all good. they balance me out. and they love me to bits.

i must say i'm the luckiest, not just because it's mother's day, but because it's true every day.

at jony's.sitting at the jetski waterworldish raft.fish.on top of the raft.jetski.with the cafe del mar girls.turtle sand thing (for rax).the queen and the pirate.moi, babuh!

not even my monthly visitor could stop me from enjoying the sun, sand, and the beach! (oops, too much information.) we had a blast attempting to skimboard, but we forgot to take pickies. darn. who knows anyone who sells skimboards? i want one!

sadomasochist

i start work at emerald headway on monday. i don't know why i got myself into this kind of mess, but i've already given my word so i guess i'll be hiking my butt off the bed early monday morning.

a week ago i was lamenting on how i wanted a job, how i wanted to get out of the house and earn my own money. i've been cut off my allowance since i graduated and my funds are slowly running out. i have to do something from now till i leave or else i'll be dead broke. so there, i had to accept.

darn it. do i really have to grow up? can't i just stay home, watch tv all day? i haven't had too much of that, really.

darn it. sucks to be old.

sadomasochist

first week at work went by fine, although there wasn't anything remarkable or blogworthy about it. i actually had personal issues on whether to stay or just quit but yeah, i'm staying. i don't really want to go into details about that anymore.

i cooked dinner today. green salad, fussili carbonara, and lemon chicken fillet. yay. my tita said it was yummy.

naligo rin ako sa ulan. sabay talon sa swimming pool. sarap. went swimming twice actually, cos jope and i went swimming again after dinner.

i'm getting sick of gateway. don't want to go back there in the next two weeks or so. except for monday, cos we got tickets to watch starwars in the globe platinum theater. yahoo.

.

walang kuentang entry, i know. since i started working, i rarely find time to think about things anymore. i'm always too tired or sleepy when i get home. my body is not yet adjusted to the eight to five habit. the only thing that gets me through the day is the thought that after work i'll see jope.

ang hirap pala ng buhay. that's what i learned this week. it's not all rosy like i thought it was a couple of months ago. i wish i could go back to college and not worry about anything except orals and tests and wacs. now i have to work even if all i really want to do is wake up late, eat brunch, watch game ka na ba and wowowee, sleep and then wait for meteor garden.

i miss being able to make plans with jope at any time of the day because now we can only go out after five. i miss going out till super late in the evening because now i have to go home early because i have work the next day. i miss just bumming around, i miss not having to be responsible. i miss being peter pan, i miss never never land. i miss being a kid, i miss being myself.

i don't know if everyone goes through this stage. maybe it's just me. i guess it's really just disheartening when you find out that you've been too much of an idealist. even more frustrating when you realize that you're eating the very words that you said. that you're in a situation or want to be in a set up that you frowned upon before.

but maybe things change. hell, things really change. priorities change and so do dreams. and maybe right now i am in a place i didn't want to be in when i was mapping out my life a couple of years ago, but i know that this is all part of the master plan that i have now set out for myself. it just sucks to be here right now, but as they say, this too, shall pass.